[FE8][Shitpost Hack] Not Fire Emblem 8

Welcome to NOT Fire Emblem 8!

You see, I’ve had the pleasure of playing Three Houses, and it really motivated me to take my favorite GBA game and update its mechanics to match that of modern day Fire Emblem.

What does this mean?

No Weapon Durability! Now you can spam the strongest weapons in the game with no restrictions. After all, you would have just hoarded them anyways, right?

No Weapon Weight! That mechanic was un-fun and made it impossible to use Amelia and Ewan!

No Rescuing! I mean who ever used that anyways, right?

Any character can use any weapon type! No more of those pesky class restrictions, you can use anything you want, when you want!

No More Weapon Triangle! After all, rock-paper-scissors is for braindead morons. DUH WHAT DO I USE AGAINST THE ROCK? PAPER!

As you can see, it’s NOT Fire Emblem, which means it’s BETTER than Fire Emblem!!

Screenshots:
NotFE8_01 NotFE8_03
NotFE8_04 NotFE8_05

DOWNLOAD:

Apply to US FE8, and do let me know if I should do this for every game~

9 Likes

…You’re an idiot

EDIT: only just now saw “shitpost” in the title.

4 Likes

Needs more Thracia mechanics.

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Cursed. I like it.

“Any character can use any weapon/no more Weapon Triangle”

Is this Three Houses

Fire Emblem: Magvel 803 would be a funnier shitpost hack, I agree.

We even have a good chunk of the mechanics done already.

Maybe I’ll do that as my first hack.

Having no weapon weight sounds pretty nice, actually.

You’ll probably want to add the weapon rank display fix.

2 Likes

Honestly I think weapon weight isn’t bad per se, but the gba games go overboard with it. Certain characters only have 5 cons which makes for a ridiculous penalty. I’d say a rebalance is in order.

Tellius deals with weapon weight by attaching it to str, but that buffs an already strong stat, makes Wt obsolete for the second half of the game, and makes cons close to being a meaningless number.

I think a good solution would be to:

  1. Check weight against skill
  2. Remove cons & rescue as stats
  3. Make rescues based on class. (mounted units save unmounted, unmounted can’t save mounted or heavily armored units)

This would streamline the game, and remove that “unfun” aspect. (srsly, why can’t lvl 5 Erika rescue lvl 1 ross??)

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Yeah, the con system was terrible. Three Houses tried to make the strength system work by decreasing its effect on the weight. Instead of being weight-strength, it was weight-strength/5. For every 5 points of strength, you resisted one point of weight.

CON system was terrible because they insisted on lowering CON for females and making the tomes weigh a ton, leading to crap like Sophia and Nino. It’s fine to weigh down different classes by different amounts, but it really needed rebalancing.

I actually did not know how Three Houses handled that but that system still means the high STR units care less about weight and the low STR units get wrecked.

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I think it’s strange for how egalitarian everything is today for FE to punish units for being female. Like female versions of classes almost always have worse cons, str, and def caps. They should just have the same stats but/w a different animation.
Also, the str solution just reinforces axe users as top dog. Like why do sword users get punished in their speed (regardless of str or cons system) while axe users get off scot free??

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Having different versions of classes with different stats between male/female is a pain in general, because it means you now have to balance around two slightly different versions of the same class. And that’s without considering that female classes tend to have a blatantly inferior statline.

irt CON itself, I like the idea of ‘heavy weapons weigh you down’, because it encourages you to carry both heavy and light weapons and switch between them as necessary. Personally I wouldn’t have gone for CON as a thing - I’d just have weapons give a speed bonus or a speed penalty. Tiny slim sword? +speed. Huge axe or blade? -speed. If you want to have a class that can use heavy weapons without a penalty (or with less penalty), you could make it into a skill. CON just feels too fiddly and adds an extra step to the process (where you have to check your CON against the weight of a weapon, rather than just going ‘right, steel sword is -2 spd’ (or whatever).

Tying it to rescues is whatever, most of the time you want to rescue with cavs who have high aid anyway.

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Females actually also have higher speed (important) and res. I agree the con is stupid but low con also makes you easier to rescue - iirc a few mounted females could actually be rescued in gbafe?

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Females having higher speed never made any sense to me.

The logic is probably “generally smaller stature means they get around quicker”.

Female classes having different stats than male doesn’t really make sense at all, except for strength and con, maybe defense.

In FE8 it’s pretty skewed against them.

Female myrm: 10SPD 5CON
Male myrm: 9SPD 8CON
Slower with any sword higher than Iron.

Female archer: 4SPD 5CON
Male archer: 3SPD 7CON
Slower with any bow higher than iron.

Probably the worst example:
Male mage: 3SPD 6CON
Female mage: 2SPD 3CON
Slower with anything and everything.

It’s not a favorable trade. Especially as they give up str and def and tend to only get a point of skill and res in comparison.

2 Likes