Life has allowed me to come back!
Now that I got my anxiety out of the way, I want to start this the right way and publish my story in proper sequence.
With that said, as I had expressed before this story is the basis with which the World of Gultan has been built on. It is a deeply personal story of mine woven from what Fire Emblem inspired within me.
With that said, there are two thing I want to say about the book first :
Why read it
For a lot of us creative types, we use fantasy as a way to make sense of what we are now experiencing or have gone through. This book is the retelling of what growing up was for me and the psychological environment I navigated. Through Fire Emblem and certain themes its depicted, it helped me confront such things in realizing my own fantasy narrative.
This book is intense but above all, it is the telling of breaking free.
I am not the only one who has lived this and although I have always wanted to share the worlds I make with the world around me, as I’ve grown with the narrative, I have grown to find a big part of that desire is to share what I went through in hopes that those who have gone through similar or are going through the same, can feel just a little less lonely knowing they aren’t unique in it.
This gives voice to that, and I hope those who read it will understand.
We are all made into what we are, and we all have the choice to work on making ourselves instead into what we want to be. This book is a message on overcoming the hand you’re dealt, recognizing the silent ways we repeat what we were taught, and learning to see it is not part of who we really are.
DISCLAIMER... and also theme spoilers
The story I want to tell is in traditional FE fashion, a world at conflict, but the main story deals with depicting trauma of one’s upbringing. So a warning up front there are very mature themes regarding abuse (mental and physical) as well as SA in the context of discovery.
I know that sounds all doom and gloom but like I said, it’s the story of overcoming such things so keep that in mind.
Now with that out of the way I intend to share a chapter a week and hope you all enjoy my darker side of FE.
Prologue : And so it Begins
“They must be perfect, perfect!!”
He calls muttering as he rips and tares the bodies before him, sculpting them by stretching the skin, toning their limbs, smoothing their faces.
“Beautiful, ah, how they are perfect.”
Four, he toils, hands so deep in their work they go beyond the magical touch. His mind passionate as his own fingertips grip the flesh of their bodies, stretching to his desire. In the darkness that swirls about in arid mists, shrouding all with its magical power; their bodies as he sculpts them just as he says, perfectly. Two women, whose forms are bewitching. Whose breasts accentuate their lithe figures, their slender arms and firm legs, breathtaking to the sight of their creator. The men, whose muscular visages stand robust and chiseled. Their chests broad and their abdomens perfect with envious detail. Pure magic creating physical entity. They are all eerie in their exquisite forms as he completes the ghostly flesh with the breath of life.
“Ah, they are perfect indeed. Beautiful works of art. Gorgeous,” he eyes their flesh with lustful pupils, their own blinking but once as they become accustomed to their being, “Beautiful. Rise my marionettes. Rise to your master!”
And from the darkness, they move, those far in audience trembling at the power of such feat. Milky cream flesh the tone of nails, hair, eyes. Like stone statues they stand naked amidst monochrome, tall and poised and mindlessly alive.
“Lord Belhephet, you have done it!”
“Ah, look at you. Gorgeous, masterpieces, every one of you. I love it,” he says, paying his minions no mind so far outside the darkness, “You are my finest creations yet. My marionettes, my puppets. My beautiful slaves.”
“Master,” we call in unison, our minds brought to this earth for the soul purposes of the man before us.
“Ah, yes, I am your master,” he smiles, eyes closing, drawn to something above as if drinking in the sound of that title. An orgasm of power, the rush of its climax like lightning through his body a moment savored in physical euphemism. He returns to us a dulcet wanting, “Yes, yes, you are to become my protectors, my servants. Each of you. You shall win this war for me and then they will see how powerful I am. How true and intelligent this power really is. Come my beautiful creations. You will be the greatest force to walk this land!”
Orgasm stilled to action, and he calls us to his lead, clothes forming over our naked bodies as we dress ourselves in the way we were made to want to look. Black, all is black to the deathly cream of our flesh and eyes.
“You will be Equadriose,” he names me, looking upon me enviously as he moves to the next, “You shall be Geldoblame… you are Lucacia… and you shall be Melotica.”
“Yes master,” together now, this time our tones shift individually as our constructed personalities are given chance to evolve.
Again, his face and body shutter, “Oooh, you are so perfect, all of you. You are to be my four generals, the Four Cords if you will. Let us go across Hephreness and bring forth victory at last. Let our enemies tremble to my might; your might. With these beautiful works of art, I will be unstoppable!”
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A war to ravage the continent of Hephreness. It is here the humans of this land are pitted in never ending conflict.
Five nations to their respective lands, they mark the territories of Letrasia, Pelderam, Hatche, Debluar, and Fotica. Five lands born from the founding of their respective lineage. In these lands a sudden attack has shuttered the continent and begun a chain of events that will mark an era in history:
Pelderam, the neighboring nation to that of Letrasia has invaded their closest ally, Fotica. Scrambling from this surprised attack, Fotica calls aid from Letrasia. Without a second thought King Brennerd extends his army and declares war upon Pelderam. Troops of Letrasia are dispatched to aid the already pressured army of Fotica. Their forces now joined, the two nations hold back invading Pelderam, but a trap. For with the vacancy of Letrasia’s main army, Pelderam invades Letrasia itself. Outmatched, King Brennerd dispatches his son and daughter, prince and princess; Velchimar and Cassandra, in an escape attempt to ensure Letrasia’s remaining heirs. To which they are to travel to Debluar in hopes of finding aid. Now locked in the emanate advance, the siblings must depart their father against their own wishes…
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“Father no! We cannot leave you, not in Letrasia’s time of need!” she cries, elegant tears symbolic to the now broken spirit of the nation itself.
“Don’t you see, my daughter? It is in Letrasia’s time of need that there must remain an heir to its throne. You both, will be the future of our nation. You must live!”
“But father, we cannot leave you. If not as your children, then as fellow Letrasians!”
“I will not have this. I too do not wish to part you both, but you must leave, now. There isn’t much time!”
“Father!”
From the broad doors of the emerald castle rush forth a knight clad in matted armor, “My king, the army is advancing, we cannot hold the castle much longer.”
“No!”
“I will cut them down myself!”
“No! You must, hurry; I will not have this, Velchimar. Take your sister and leave this place.”
“Father-.”
“Do not go against me, boy!” his voice thunders menacingly to his own children, their youthful eyes frightened by his foreboding demeanor, “Leave, both of you.”
“Yes… my lord,” his final words and yet, he could not leave his father, but only his king. With arms to his sister, he breaks her from his gaze, but she cannot let go.
“Father! Father!! Father!!!”
Weeping eyes, the noble king looks to his daughter’s distraught image from the back of his son’s, deeply broken their parting could not have been greater.
“I am sorry,” he whispers, “I love you both as the greatest blessings of my life. Run swiftly my children and may God protect you. May he protect us all.”
Moments pass as the elite guards gather around their king, the castle echoing now with the sounds of nearing battle. Poised figures falter in morale to such pause until at last, the doors blare open to the army of Pelderam. Pristine, their army washes forth, white armor like ethereal ghosts sent to take the souls of those they battle. Through their forces comes forth a figure not like any to be known within Pelderam. A cloaked figure of black robes, wrapped in velvet luxury to equal the night in hue. Powerful this strange man rises through the white armor to look to the king high above his ring of royal guard.
“You!!” breathes the king.
“Ah, you remember me, don’t you,” a sneer from the black figure, the hood shrouding his face but the king knew what lies behind the darkness, “You will die, my king, and you will rue the day you and all of you opposed me!”
“Belhephet, you twisted mind. How could you?”
“Oh, you know. You know sooo well, my king,” he hissed, moving closer and closer, appearing to not even notice the massive guards blocking his path, “Today is just the beginning. You all will realize your undoing. You all will pay for your sins.”
Without a motion outside his stride, the figure unraveled his cloak with beams of twisting darkness. Hands concealed in the folds bringing down the guards before him with chocking shades of black radiance. To their dropping bodies he raises the throne, facing the king’s poised figure, the two together now revealed where the king stands straight, the cloak falters with a hunched posture.
“You will not succeed with this.” his eyes tremble to such power.
“Oh, no I will, Brennerd. You will not stop this. Here lies the demise of your power and know that it was I who took it from you. Now, how would you like to die?”
A wicked smile even the darkness could not hide but the king stands tall, “You may kill me today, Belhephet, but you will never defeat Letrasia.”
A hint of pride perceived as ridicule, snatches away all amusement as white-hot rage took its place. He raises darkness around him, channeling it forth with blaring voice as it is then thrust forward. Taking the shape of vaporous liquid, black transitions into twin tendrils puncturing inside the king’s robes, such impact causing his eyes to protrude in cold pain.
“You dare look down upon me!!”
Twisting at the base, his robes sift to the motions of a punch, the two strands reverberating as the effect carries into the body of the king. Internal Punch, a forbidden spell.
“None of you will ever do that to me again!” another thrust, the king shifts sporadically to the right, then a squeeze of the hand crushes his lung. Another punch, a bend, a rip, a twist, the king falls to the twin strikes within his own body.
“L-l-long… l-li-live…. Le-trasi-a…” he spills words along with blood, buckling as he falls to his knees. What life remained slips back along his eyes as the sound of crumpled flesh hits stone with a jarring thud.
Dead. A silence hangs to the stillness of the throne room.
“Your final words shall never reach God’s ear,” the black looks down his nose to the green now marred in red, “Such a fool. As you die, your kingdom dies with you. Hmm, a fitting fate for one such as you… heh… heh-heh… heh, ha, ha, ha Hahahahaha ahahahahaha ahahahahaha!”
A shutter to wake the entire castle. The cloak realizes the make of his own doing and he grows lightheaded to having passed the threshold. A tingling euphoria. Breath turns to utterance turns to laughter. A menacing laughter, bewildered by its liberation. Silence magnifies its undulating cackle until it rings in his own ear.
It has begun.
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“You are Lucacia, is that correct?”
“That it is, and who might you be?” an obvious trick of annoyance. Clearly, she knew my name, she just didn’t care to waste her breath.
“I am Equadriose. Master says you’re like me.”
“Ah, hahaha,” she laughs with open eyes, “You are nothing like me, puppet. I am beautiful. I am intelligent.”
“As am I. Master says so.”
“Do not fool yourself. I am the one master loves. Not you.”
“Y-yes he does. He loves me.”
“No, he does not, and I will prove it to you,” a wicked smile crosses her face but to prove her wrong I play along, “Here, come with me.”
Taking my hand she led me through the castle, our two figures rushing through its halls together until then, she brought me into a bedroom knowing I knew what happens here. I smile to her just as she shuts the door, the illusion fading before me as I realize I stand surrounded in wet darkness.
“Lucacia, what are you doing. Don’t, no, don’t do this to me!! Lucacia!!”
But all I hear is an echo of her laugh while I stand for eternity in filthy claustrophobia. Opening the door was master, his face showing contempt at the sight of me and she, with ruffled clothes, revealed he had loved her, not me.
“What are you doing in here. You are ruining your image. Disgusting, get out of there!” A bash across the head, he yelled at me several more until pulling me out in a disgraceful heap, her point proven as she walked away with him.
This was one of many countless games. The way she toyed with me. Manipulating my ‘emotions’ if you could call such things that. A memory. In this time of war, I cannot help but remember these walls around us, and the stories they hold.
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“My prince, it is just along this route. If we make it, we will be safely away from the enemy,” a burly yet robust voice, Nethanial, the escort of the prince leads the siblings across the war-ravaged land of Letrasia, its rich green forests filing their path as they make it to a bridge, “Please we haven’t much time. This way.”
“We should have stayed with father. We should have aided in defending our homeland. Not fleeing like cowards upon signs of conflict.”
“My prince, you must not think such things. The king desired that you live. You must think of his greater thoughts. Who else to restore Letrasia than its rightful heirs? His majesty sought the future of our country. Forgive me, but you must not speak in such a manner. You must see the reason to your father’s wishes.”
“Oh, father, why were we attacked to begin with?” she speaks as if she has no life, her eyes half full as she rests upon her brother’s shoulders, hopelessly drained, their horse restless as it paces the grass beneath.
“You are right, Nethanial, forgive me. I-I am not thinking well. All of this, is, is happening so fast.”
“It is alright my prince. Once we arrive at Debluar, we will have a better guide. But we cannot lose sight of our main goal.”
“Yes, the restoration of Letrasia. We will never forget,” a glance to his sister.
“No, never,” she replies independently, a crack of life showing in those devoid eyes.
“Then let us be on our way.”
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“You hideous worthless wretch, how could you!” screamed master, his gaze full of rage as he yelled upon Lucasia’s pleading eyes.
“Master, no please! I-I didn’t-”
“God, look at you. You are so ugly when you beg. I must wash myself of your wretched body. All the nights I loved you, and you do this!!?”
“Master, please, no, I-I thought I was beautiful. You said I was gorgeous!”
“Look at you. No, you’re not. Not near to any. And you, Geldoblame, how dare you trick her into this. Such a beautiful work of art as you was not made for manipulation.”
“Beautiful? How can he be more beautiful than me?” she pleaded; eyes swollen in tears. A strange occurrence, her mannerisms, such actions, such, feelings, she has never been seen in such a horrible manner.
“Anyone is more beautiful than you, you revolting bitch!” to then Geldoblame, “leave my sight. I will discipline you later.”
Quickly Geldoblame departs, his silence fading into the shadows of the library hall. I however remain to listen behind the doorway. His berating of her was most unpleasant. So foolish of her to fall for my little trap. Constantly he yelled at her between strikes, degrading her self-image of worth so foully I began to feel the strange sensation of cold regret. Or was it pity? At last, the deed was over, and master had had his fill, my little trick now seeming to have cost her more than I had hoped to inflict. To her room she ran, her sobbing echoing behind her through the Cathedral’s stone halls as tears trail her path. She was worthless now, to herself and master.
I entered the room to hear her still crying, her white flesh red and swollen from tears so real and never meant in the making of the eyes they came from. She looked rather ugly.
“Lucacia,” I spoke calmly.
“Oh, Equadriose, how dare you enter my room. Get out!” she continued to cry, holding her face in empty comfort.
I sat beside her and wrapped an arm around her, “Lucacia,” I said once more.
“Am I ugly? Am I hideous?” she pleaded to me, begging, her face so distraught, looking for something to assure her dignity.
“No, no, you are not,” I said, caressing her shoulder like master does to all of us.
“Oh, Equadriose, master hates me now. He will never love me again.”
“Do not think that. He will love you again. He always does.”
“Oh, you are probably lying, remember. You were made to lie like me. You were made to manipulate emotion,” she smiled between tears, huddling closer as she remembered what I had told her long ago.
“I am not deceiving you,” I lied, this entire debacle my doing.
“Oh, you’re so nice to me. Your touch is so soft, Equadriose… I, like it,” she began to stop crying, her voice inferring something, something more.
“No, Lucacia.”
“Why not, prove I can still be loved. Come Equadriose, y-you love me don’t you?” she muttered looking to me uncertain even in herself to the meaning of what she spoke. She was drunk with emotion.
“No, I, I can’t.”
“I love you Equadriose, I’ve always loved you. Love me.”
“No!” I jump away from her, “You disgusting wretch. Master is right. You are worthless.”
“W-w-what, Equadriose, but y-you said,” she turned to tears again, the feelings pouring into her once more.
“I lied,” a grimace, “How could anyone love you. You’re not good for anything.”
And with that I walked out of her room. Slamming the door behind me I could hear the muffled screaming of her retching emotions, her anguish magnified tenfold, and I left her alone to wallow in it.