Explain a Fire Emblem Plot Badly

Fire Emblem 1: Hero King that kickstarted the franchise
Fire Emblem 2: Twin Gods gone corrupted and brought disaster to their continent
Fire Emblem 3: Emblem of Secrets involving Gems and Dragons
Fire Emblem 4: Entire Continent Gone into Full Blown War Due to Incest Marriage and Bad Parents
Fire Emblem 5: Exile Prince went Full Guerilla Commando within his own Homeland
Fire Emblem 6: Abused King supports Genocide with Dragons
Fire Emblem 7: Soceror lost his family and made Puppet Army
Fire Emblem 8: Prince possessed by Demon wants total darkness involving Stones
Fire Emblem 9: Mercenary caught in a war involving Racism against Animals
Fire Emblem 10: Order God stopped the World to prevent Chaos
Fire Emblem 11: Hero King that kickstarted the franchise - Redux
Fire Emblem 12: Emblem of Secrets involving Gems and Dragons - Redux
Fire Emblem 13: Amnesiac being caused a Future paradox from said Doppelganger
Fire Emblem 14: Two Families fought for custody over 1 person who is considered family
Fire Emblem 15: Twin Gods gone corrupted and brought disaster to their continent (Upgraded)
Fire Emblem 16: Students started a war over a poorly made system
Fire Emblem 17: Lord of the Ring, but Waifu Wars

If anyone can make a Fire Emblem Plot explained badly, go on ahead and make your best interpretation. Also, FE ROM Hacks are included.

4 Likes

Fire Emblem 8: So, we had Nergal, but what about the Cooler Nergal?

FE8: DOOM with swords and crack rocks

Spoilers for every FE game, obviously:

FE1/FE3b1/FE11: Some nerd gets angry he’s not the teacher’s favorite and summons an evil dragon as revenge.
FE3b2/FE12: That nerd is back and he still has his pet dragon.

FE2/FE15: “Reckless” farm boy proven right about everything, given throne as result.

FE4 gen 1: Visionary ruler unites continent with celebratory barbecue.
FE4 gen 2: These kids really hate barbecues.

FE5: “The secret ingredient is crime.”

FE6: Woah the main character’s hair is red this time.

FE7: Who’s Lyn again?

FE8: Disaster bisexual asks Satan to be his wingman (gone wrong).

FE9: Local gym bro stops racism (part 1)
FE10: Local gym bro stops racism (part 2)

FE13: I’ll save the world with the Power of Friendship and these rocks I found!

FE14 Birthright: Box of carboard cutouts goes on a road trip to kill a king.
FE14 Conquest: What plot? You’re either playing for the gameplay or Camilla’s you-know-whats.
FE14 Revelation: Kid convinces entire family to jump off a cliff.

FE16 Crimson Flower: Traumatized girl gets help from the mole people to kill god.
FE16 Azure Moon: Traumatized boy goes on a murder spree, friends join in.
FE16 Verdant Wind: Foreign power infiltrates and destabilizes three nations’ governments.
FE16 Silver Snow: “Yes, a cardboard box is the perfect choice for immortal god-king!”

FEW3H Scarlet Blaze: Traumatized girl rejects help from the mole people and tries to kill god anyway.
FEW3H Azure Gleam: Traumatized girl gets punished for rejecting help from the mole people.
FEW3H Golden Wildfire: Foreign power assassinates prominent religious figure.

The crazy guy gets out of control.
We have to hit him to make him listen to us.

2 Likes

FE:7 Local scientist invents cloning, goes insane and kills hundreds to open door.
FE:6 Local Ruler finds “dragons” decides ethnic cleansing is a good idea.

The Sun God’s Wrath: Local people outraged at Darkstalkers character Pyron infecting people with Mage-AIDS, begin violently protesting.

Vision Quest: 3 men work together to get an astonishing amount of nothing done.

Awakening: amnesiac found, local cult begins worshipping a flying bug found in desert, hijinks insue.

4 Likes

A prince and his varied, colorful band of anime characters with violent tendencies kill a dragon and the dragon’s dark wizard friend.

Tales of Avernir: So you’re dead, but then you aren’t. Also bandits are the most politically involved thing ever.

2 Likes

A clueless teenager gets kicked out of his house, so he gets his girlfriend and all his buddies to go around the world with him so he can sit on all the world’s chairs, get some balls to make a book so he can get his dad’s ancient tooth back and beat up an undead mole king.

Years later, the wizard the teenager killed gives some guy in a turban a ball that makes him want to conquer the world. The teenager, somehow even more clueless, has to go and sit on even more chairs and collect constellations because the ball makes the turban guy invincible.

4 Likes

TLP: "Family issues, family issues everywhere…"Anakin not skywalker, sincerly.

2 Likes

FE1/11: Funny long-range grab man goes to retake his home from Evil Dragon #1 and Evil Sorcerer #1
FE2/15: Green boi goes liberating the continent and fights his dad (ruler of evil empire #1), while red girl goes to check what happened to Good Dragon #1, and the two of them end up fighting Evil Dragon #2 and Evil Sorcerer #2
FE3/12: Same thing as FE1/11, but without retaking home, and with funny general go boom
FE4: Another blue guy goes out and conquers the continent, gets barbecued, then his son does the same thing but better, all orchestrated by Evil Sorcerer #3 trying to bring back Evil Dragon #3
FE5: Nephew of the guy in FE4 goes out and kills Evil Baron Man and Evil Sorcerer #4 against all odds
FE6: A literal 15 year old is sent to save the land from evil empire #2, and ends up fighting Evil Dragon #4
FE7: The 15 year old from FE6’s dad and friends go try to find his dad, but fail and end up fighting evil assassins and Evil Sorcerer #5
FE8: Twins get their home destroyed and try to find answers, and ends up fighting Evil Sorcerers #6 and #7, as well as Evil Demon (not a dragon this time), and end up winning because twin #2 never picks fights he can’t win
FE9: Yet another blue guy goes to defeat evil empire #3, this time with a touch of racism
FE10: Some light mage from evil empire #3 tries the liberate the country from the corrupt empire, eventually fighting and later joining up with the blue guy from FE9
FE13: ANOTHER blue guy and his amnesiac tactician fight off invaders, when their kids from the future come and warn them about Evil Dragon #5, whose evil sorcerer #6 happens to be the tactician’s dad
FE14: Whiny royal is forced to choose their adoptive siblings (from evil empire #5) or blood (but not really) siblings (from the “good” country), and choosing neither gets arguably the worst FE story ever, ending up fighting Evil Dragon #6
FE16: A mercenary with an imaginary goddess friend becomes a teacher, and end up being the key to the continent’s future
FE17: funny toothpaste dragon goes to collect some rings and fights evil empire #6 and evil dragon #7

1 Like

Fire Emblem The Sacred Stones: Prince studying rocks gets possessed and starts a war because he wanted to cure his dad’s cancer aids, his friends the wonder twins are forced to kill him

Fire Emblem Awakening: Amnesiac causes the apocalypse so a future princess goes back to the past, to fight the shitty grimeal who suck ass

2 Likes

FE 7: Two dragon kids watch their dad simp for his dead wife and destroy the world
FE 8: Princess pretends she’s useful, accidentally causes the apocalypse
FE 9/10: Mercenary band made up of altruists do mercenary stuff 'cause… altruism.
FE 2/SoV: A god gets dementia, kills other god, and the humans are just as bad.

I’ll describe the currently released telephones:

The Sauce

Call of the Armor: Uh, lol what was the plot again.
Embers Entwined: We need to kill God God God God because he’s more powerful than God God God who came back from the dead because God God God God possessing the body of God God God’s father decided to morb out and revive everyone from death. Meanwhile God God God God is killed for the first time by God God, God God recruits God to his cause and using his God powers, God God creates a tower filled with God God clones who dn’t have the God power. One of your lords becomes God God God God God.
Bells of Byelen: Leonard and Crisco need to prevent god emporer from mobring over the world with the help of DJ Khalid.

1 Like
  • FE1/11/3/12: Kill Evil Dragon, the OG.
  • FE2/SoV: Badly written love story feat. dragon killing.
  • FE4: A political story in the first half, the predecessor to Fates in the 2nd half
  • FE5: How to ruin your story by making a dark cult hijack it!
  • FE6: You see, son, when you love dragons too much…
  • FE7: The OG FE self insert story
  • FE8: Incestous twins collect the magic mcguffins to save the world from the hands of their best friend
  • FE9: A Mercenary and a Princess go on a journey retake control of the Princess’ country
  • FE10: A Priestess with a stockholm syndrome towards her country wants to save it after the country got a taste of their own medicine! Also every ship you loved in FE9? Bam, gone.
  • FE13: Back to the Future Fire Emblem Edition
  • FE14: A Prince has to choose between the family he lived with his whole life but has an abusive dad, or the family his mother remarried into but otherwise completely unrelated to him.
  • FE16: Harry Potter Emblem with meaningful choices* *Rules and conditions may apply
1 Like

FE8: Cardboard cutout and anime boy save the world from a femboy and his dad. Find out dad had giga aids, and is also dead. Later, they fight satan, and they all live happily ever after.

FE9/10: racism and religious zelotry/bigotry save the world.

1 Like

Fe4: man is out for barbecue so his son fights an evil snake.

Fe8: Discord kitten gives in to his intrusive thoughts, killed by a therapists dream.