[Banter] Epic Rap Battles of FEU (Explicit Language Warning)

Straight to the point:

During our drunken escapade the other day in voice chat, @Arch and I were prompted by @MrKarkino to have a rap battle.

Naturally, intoxicated Chair was all like “No point, I’d win.”

Spoke to Arch about it and it’s happening. Within 24 hours.

#Here Be The Rules:#

  • 3 verses each, back and forth. Word count for each verse is limited to 75-150.
  • Everyone else in the chat mutes except for the person rapping
  • I post the lyrics here and people can vote to determine the winner (cutoff at some point)
  • Everyone fucking has fun. Fun is mandatory. Win or lose

I’m probably going to lose, have you fucking seen Arch’s fire in #General? Golden. But I’m here to have fun, like everyone else. Ain’t gunna retire if I get obliterated by Big Poppa Arch.

#Let’s Make This A Thing?#

Was thinking of some rules/guidelines for making this a whole community thing, where we schedule rap battles for fun. Lemme know what you think.

Anywho, Chair’s gotta go type up some fire to compete with Arcj’s absolute inferno.

Adding more curse words to get maximum value from explicit language warning.
  • Frick
  • Heck
  • Golly

#Round 1


They say I’m washed up,
But I got no regrets.
Hoggin’ the spotlight?
You all owe me a debt.
Step up to the plate.
Open your wallet–donate.
And don’t hate.
I built this place
With my sweat and blood.
You think you’re hot shit?
Then stand up to me, stud.
I may be old, but I still got game.
Your shit ain’t good? Got nobody else to blame.
These days everyone wants to make their hack a joke.
If you wanna compete, then it’s time to get serious folks.


Jake’s gunna flop, Chair won’t stop. Straight to the top. Here comes the chop. You gunna drop.
That verse was bad, and pretty sad. This verse is rad, they all glad. You mad?
Look at this guy, Jake’s gunna cry but he won’t die. I ain’t even have to try.
On your turn they slumber like lumber. Here, take a number.
Arch is a seven, Chair is eleven. My divine lightning shall pierce the heaven.

#Round 2:


Anna’s got the scoop.
Chair’s gonna lose,
Can I get a “whoop”?
Everything you’ve done,
Gheb did it first.
“Oh but it’s just for fun”?
You plagiarized his whole verse.
When it comes to scripts, it ain’t all there.
You think you’re special? That shit ain’t even rare.
Your units are red, like we’re livin’ in Texas.
Got Beto on your ass, we gonna wreck this.
The first original thought that came out of your mind.
Is something that adults watch on TV all the time.
And I’d love to cut off your head like Roy.
But you’da had to have one first, my boy.
I never walk away from a challenge tho,
So spit your best, that was a savage blow.


You’re just a fake Jake, you gunna break, start to shake. Head ache, knees quake.
Name’s Eric, fuckin’ barbaric, my league main is Taric, but best boy Derek.
Get in your place, mad rhymes coming straight to your face. Can you handle the pace?
I’m gunna win, ain’t it a sin that Jake can’t spin? Fuck Lyn, get gin.
It ain’t even fair. Just so we’re square, know that Chair don’t care, weegee death stare.

#Round 3:


“Finish EN?” Like I haven’t heard that before.
Let’s just take a second and count up the score.
Six public releases, I’ll show you the door.
These tired attacks make the audience snore.
You aren’t the hero that we deserve bro.
Can’t rap, can’t match my flow.
I go at my own pace.
And I don’t owe you people shit.
Step up to the spotlight.
Cuz it’s aboutta get lit.
You can’t handle my fire.
So just call me “sire”.
I’m beginning to tire.
Of these posers and squires.
It’s been ten years, so count it.
That takes perserverence, motherfuckin’ grit.
I’m father of the universe.
About to break this curse.
2020: it’s comin’ soon, kids.
So prepare yourself, for again I shall rise.
This divine lightning shall pierce the skies.


Lookin’ dire, time to bring the fire, Ain’t no liar, ain’t gunna tire. Gotta get higher.
Your rap: calm. My rap: atom bomb. Go ahead ‘n qualm to your mom.
Way too easy, your rap was cheesy. You feelin’ queazy?
My rap’s soon done, son. Lookin’ like I already won. Fun run.
Jake you tried, then you cried. You got fuckin’ fried. Take it in stride.
Now I gotta stop, your rap was a flop. One-two punch, chop chop. Drop.


  • Arch
  • Chair
0 voters

#Next Time:

Fuck if I know.


I have made an awful, terrible mistake.

Here’s to the gasoline fire. :wine_glass:


I’m gonna record the audio so that people can play it back.


Finally, I can live out my dream of being a hype man, on the internet.


It’s gonna be bigger than Mayweather vs. McGregor.


Somebody quick, make a gif of the Not a Rapper guy but put Arch’s pfp over the face.

So my crushing defeat can be immortalized forever in standard meme format.

It’s happening.

10am PST. Be there or be square.

1 Like

…Or be Chair.

1 Like

Hello, and welcome to the first ever official FEU Rap batte! I’m kirb, I’ll be your host for today. Now, let’s not waste time and get to what you’re here for!

[please dont preview]https://www.dropbox.com/s/f5t9fxjn439uz17/Rap%20Battle%20of%20FEU%201%20Arch%20Versus%20Chair.mp3?dl=0

(you need to download it for it to work properly, dropbox is wank)

Now, time for you to vote for who won! Polls’ in first post.

Also, vote in the comments on who’s gonna stand against who in the next rap battle! coming sooner than you think.


Best audio. Ever. Of all time. Everyone can go home now.

updated link, you need to download it for it to work properly, dropbox is wank

Ok this is epic


I believe in u chair


All of the love to you Blyvern.

We’re fighting an up hill battle. Arch’s got cattle.

If nobody steps up for round 2: Rematch Arch.

I’ll be a better chanter,
EN sucks. You better bring the banter.

…Pan hypeman when

1 Like

You could say he’s hyper
better on enemy phase than a sniper
a lover, poet, stings like a viper
all who listen follow his words
like he’s the pied piper

get hype or get wiped out
try to beat me and you’ll strike out
when i arrive on the scene
the reds enemies turn green
it’s pandan, the hype man, and he’s kinda mean.

1 Like

Ey. Yo. Uh… I’ve never spoken here yet. But you know… Uhm…

Yo. This one’s for GRATED SHTICK. Me and you, chief, I challenge you to a rap battle in eight hours from now. It’s now or never, so you better square up and bring the strongest rap game you have. You better not wuss out - I’m watching you. Yeah. Uh. I’m waiting. Chief.

Probably should ping them?

Arch and I decided on each verse being 75-150 words. That way people don’t go on forever.

Chief, it’s called off, blame the snow


Salutations, sir,

Approximately 48 hours from now, I wish to subdue you into a battle of wits and reaction, in what’s called a rap battle. I hope you accept this challenge/duel, and that you bring good wishes and high hopes along with.

Sincerely, Fatih.