The Under


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What would you rather, what would you rather.
I hate that whenever I hear of this prompt it’s always two things that are completely different from one another, like, would you rather have a giraffe for a tongue or have to shit coal for the rest of your life, it’s just two incomparable scenarios.

I believe, honestly, that the ‘game’ is better if you do something that’s more comparable, something like, “would you rather cock pubes or arse pubes in your breakfast bowl?”

I mean, personally, I’m not good at this one, I don’t have hair down there to compare. No, it’s not weird, I also shave my feet, also no, that does not make me gay, I may like pink, pluck my eyebrows and cut my own hair but I still love me some mad puss’.

And that’s not mad as in good, that’s mad as in if I stop thrusting it calls me a cunt.


I’d definitely rather have cock pubes. I mean think about it, shit is gross, but semen is good enough for most gay dudes and women so I mean like, it can’t be that bad.

Don’t you fucking judge me, person reading this. I make the hard decisions in life with grace and poise.


Why do all the cavaliers in Awakening look like they’ve been captured by Jigsaw and put in that contraption at the start of Saw II?


They looked more like toilets to me





Well then


Hyper Zigludo, coming to a Descent of Jihad translation near you!


Don’t overestimate old kirb


I hope that wasn’t supposed to be funny.


It wasn’t





Story time, everyone. A long, long time ago, this version of FEU was founded. The few members at the time needed a place to chat. As a result, the Under was founded, at first as “Banter”, but later to gain its true name. This is the history of the Under.

June 2014: 54 posts.[quote=“Agro, post:1, topic:166, full:true”]
we need this so that we can look back on this and be like “eh, these were the good ol’ days when we had 10 members”

banter away, assholes

Banter was had. Pretty much the whole thread in general. Interestingly, the second post visible on the thread, well shoot that's some heavy stuff man. by Overlordpichu, is labelled as post eight instead of two. Some of the oldest banter has been lost to time.

July 2014: 43 posts.

The result was people talking about an old soccer match and people’s romhacking woes.

August 2014: 104 posts.

Colorz was bored at the end of July, so Ash proposed to open August. The next post, the 100th in the thread, was a rejection.

Dramatic anime then happened. Other topics involved Pokémon filter failures, Serenes downtime, and messing with the minimug box in FE7. Also balloons. FEE3 drew near, and post 200 happened to be this.

The days when Colorz wizarded. Now he owns the discord. He also didn’t qt as much then. Hmm.

September 2014: 69 posts. The first post was about FEE3, but the main theme of the month was Advance Wars. [quote=“Venno, post:204, topic:166, full:true”]
I’ve just discovered Advance Wars By Web which lets you play multiplayer advance wars over the internet.

Any AW fans out there interested in having a match?

Everyone had some Advance Wars matches.

October 2014: 32 posts.

Advance Wars continued.

Post 300 concludes the Advance Wars arc with Colorz triple posting.

November 2014: 37 posts.

Timezones cause Halloween night events to fall in November. Achievements get added and are discussed.
Also, the site went down and everyone panicked. As a result, “ads” consisting of Ike getting ripped are added.


December 2014: 39 posts.

After a whopping twelve day necropost, Colorz revives the thread. (It gets worse.) The main event involves Zahlman introducing himself and people getting hype. Also Venno advertised Shovel Knight as first post of the month but no-one talked about it.

January 2015: 22 posts.

2015 starts off with a bang: Ash ate breakfast the previous day. To a 2017 reader, shock and horror/absolute delight, as a certain Wan might think. Cam also became an admin. Post 400 closes the month…

Feburary 2015: 12 posts.

Dracozombies want dental cover. Do they get it?

That was Feburary 2015, in the Under.

March 2015: 20 posts.

Instead of FE4 pairings, we got a discussion on necroposting. Two and a half years late: LevinxSylvia.

April 2015: 30 posts.

Ah, the days of Fates hype. If only we knew what was in store at the time… Most of the month’s discussion was about artwork, with a side of how you pronounce Ash’s full handle.

May 2015: 20 posts.

Well I’m summarising a thousand posts two years later down the line, so yes. Preferences about things and the Fates weapon triangle (!ew) are also mentioned.

June 2015: 54 posts.
The month is opened with Ash greeting everyone with a Sup, homies, but the main topic of discussion is Fates. Fates released in Japan at this time.

People then discussed topics such as which route to choose, whether Elise or Sakura was a better little sister, and the swimsuit DLC artwork. Badges also came up, and post 500 is claimed without any fanfare this time.

July 2015: 5 posts

Someone was naughty. But who got flagged? No-one will ever know. Also, Iwata passed away. Bad days to be a Nintendo fan.

August 2015: 55 posts.
The month opened with a brief Sup, homies. What's the word? from Ash. The first major conversation came when Agro decided to post a quote from Ghast.

Ghast went into denial and then lewdness happened. Yep. We have dirty minds here. This topic Lin posted was the source of the quote, by the look of things. After some time passed, discussion moved on to Splatoon instead.

September 2015: 32 posts.

September starts with a bang as a Japanese romhack, nicknamed Sacae 776 among some English speakers, is released. Most of the month’s discussion is about “Sword of Heaven and Earth”, as it is also sometimes called. Post 600 is also taken.

Why was Klok screaming? He didn’t understand the Japanese download. The next post had Alusq draw about a million arrows pointing at the download button.

October 2015: 0 posts
Not a single thing was posted in October. The discord wasn’t a thing yet, so something else was causing decay of the Under… …I guess everyone was too busy watching FEE3 videos or something.

November 2015: 15 posts

It’s appreciation from Arch. Also of interest is Vestaria Saga’s announcement, which attracts a decent amount of discussion.

December 2015: 10 posts

Nothing much happened in the month of December. A brief mention of TMS, some utterings of FE1… but the end of 2015 prompted celebrations, started by Nickt.

January 2016: 10 posts.

Timezones cause the first post of 2016 to fall within 2015 in its origin country, but Colorz saying hi isn’t very interesting. The month’s highlight?

Courtsey of Ghast.

February 2016: 18 posts.

Digimon is the main topic. I’m a Pokémon guy, so oh well. Although no posts are made here, the Discord is founded. This should be noted.

March 2016: 33 posts

Fates opens the month of March, but is not the dominant topic. The highlight is Nickt Vs. Rock, thanks to some other SRPG. Post 700 starts the other topic: Zim’s College Worries.

Some people tried to encourage him to be a wizard after that. His response? You underestimate my laziness

April 2016: 58 posts

Zim started a trend where people constantly saved the same picture, taking a screenshot of the image with a save prompt. Discord advertisement also took place.

May 2016, 69 posts
Zim posted a clipping of Discord to start the month.

Is that why Arch randomly genderbends people in Exalted Legacy: because he got drunk enough to want to do so himself? After some intense lewdness, the image resaving restarted. The final result of all this?

Post 800 was also posted.

The forum then did a timewarp and a bunch of stuff vanished. Still an eventful month.

June 2016, 74 posts

[s]Best sprite art: granted. Best ship: REEEEEEE IT’S SIGURD AND D- anyways, people just post things randomly. The highlight includes Circles inserting a map of his waifu in the game. Also we get to see the woes of Punk trying to romhack. Feditor is not a good tool. Credit for the 100’s of posts starts getting foggy at this point due to deletions, but clicking on dates results in possibly the least interesting x00 post possible.

…Actually, it reveals that Punk was hacking FE6. No-one hacks FE6! Except Onmi, because he wants to remake FE6 in FE6. So I suppose there is info of interest there.

July 2016, 13 posts

A very boring post results in Discord advertisement. Some other people post random pictures.

August 2016: 49 posts

While the first post of the month was Sety replying to a spambot, the first topic of discussion was about the Fire Emblem fanbase in the years gone by. Eventually, the topic moved to speculation about what FE15 would be like. Punk also puts down the offer that post 1000 would get a copy of Corrupt Theocracy.

September 2016, 10 posts

Because Discourse says no, unfortunately. People then joked about paying for WinRAR. Also, Vestaria Saga was released.

Octiober 2016, 28 posts

The first post was Punk necroposting the topic (it happens every so often), so we’ll look at more interesting stuff. The thread grew ever closer to its thousandth post.

A very true statement, as we shall soon see. But everyone was racing for post 1000. Numbers were confusing, but clicking on the dates show that post 1000 went to…

Riveting stuff. What came after the “two to go?”

That’s that.

November 2016, 7 posts

After Nickt went on a spree of creating titles, it turns out that there already was a Water Crest tree in existence on Deviantart. His reaction?

December 2016: 8 posts.

No serious conversations took place. People just posted random things every so often.

January 2017: 15 posts.

A new year, a new post. People posted either their new year’s resolutions or their achievements in the previous year. After the new year, Under activity fell dramatically. The discord started to gain much more popularity, and there are much fewer posts.

Feburary 2017: 0 posts
Case in point.

March 2017: 11 posts.

Discord broke, causing the Under to get revived for a bit as everyone panicked. Then it got fixed.

April 2017: 15 posts.

A clipping from Serenes starts the month. Other incidents include a repeat of the recursive saving and Kirb changing the thread title. There’s also a picture of an Awakening cavalier wearing a toilet.

May 2017: 1 post.

Download my FE Binary translation today!

June 2017: 6 posts.

Kirb posted a gif of an old Mangs hack he made. This, as of the time of this post, was the final topic of discussion in the Under. July passed without a single post. Now, on the Second of August, Twenty Seventeen, I declare this the Complete History of the Under.

Chart of Under posts by year:
2014: 378
2015: 276
2016: 376
2017: 58


Shit mate, I had totally forgotten about the fates hype. Thank goodness I’ve gotten more cynical and bitter as times gone on. -drinks slowly from an unlabeled bottle- never again…

more importantly though, that must have been interesting, scavenging through all of the old posts in this topic. Atleast for what could be considered highlights.


you’re alive?


if your talking to me, then no.


kek ok