Should be “Healer Tank” because that is their primary function
bonk
Chapter 6
I don’t like the sound of this.
Oh I’m sure it’s nothing-
So that’s why it’s called Banter BBQ.
Our bad guy bosses, who are all destined to die horribly one way or another.
Doesn’t seem too bad, ignore the part where I mess up one time and have to restart.
Quality bonding.
QUALITY BONDING.
An assortment of levels
Too bad you’re dying to feed Tristan.
Neat.
Not so neat.
Your son’s a neeeeeeeeeeerd
Eh, I’ll take it.
Oof
There’s a theme emerging here and I don’t like it.
The chapter’s called BBQ banter surely the ending can afford some.
Wonder who could’ve done such a terrible thing.
I don’t like the sound of this, but it’s also not my problem, have fun Dan.
Sorry about the chest key, lads.
Alrighty, here we go.
Chapter 8: Something Something Purge
Welcome to the desert map. As it happens, this is the chapter my own playthrough is on, so no experience bonus for me. Our foot soldiers are complaining endlessly. Kristie, being a mage, doesn’t care. Talor suddenly hears music…
Specifically, Luigi’s Mansion music! Our bosses today are Jacob and Tambo.
Tambo makes a bad pun, Talor hears his name as Rambo, and a bunch of reinforcements show up.
Zombies! And now prep screen.
First and foremost, the internet inventory.
If we’re taking Eric to endgame, then he should get all the favouritism. He won’t get many levels so he better make the most of what he’s got. Kristie got the other bagel.
There was a Pokemon card in storage. Pokemon cards are secretly white gems, so I sold it and walked off with a brave axe.
Steve’s warning is a dangerous one. Being a desert map, there’s always treasure. And I didn’t bother looking at a treasure map. I hope I didn’t miss anything too valuable. In addition, the tide gradually rises for the first ten turns, forcing you to hurry up and not get stranded. I took a few attempts on this map, so screenshots might be off for a bit.
Anim 1 looks really bad without the platforms. I immediately switched to Anim 2.
Oops. I left Eric in range of too many Bad Guys. At least monks are still pathetic.
Then don’t promote after one chapter of usability, dammit!
Attempt number 2: I wack the Vantage guy from a different tile and get attacked by a dragon knight instead of the brave sword guys. Eric lives this time.
Tambo got bored. This means Tambo will start moving. Tambo is very very dangerous. His sword has 40 crit on it, and a critical will kill almost everybody in a single hit. In addition, his 18 speed means he doubles my entire team. Eric at 13 is my fastest, and he’s still two points shy of avoiding a double. In other words, stay out of his range at all costs or he will obliterate you. Astra is also certain death.
In the tide comes…
And Henry and Talor get their A support. Supports increase quickly in this hack.
Another dangerous swordmaster comes from behind. Eric goes in for a sleeping stab. The stab tinks for no damage, but that counted as a hit and put him to sleep.
Oh hey, a desert item! Behold the siege knife.
Heroes are dangerous and annoying. A shamshir crit disposes of this one.
Here comes Tambo…
And there goes Greg. Reset #2.
New plan: go the lower route and try not to get drowned. Steve got a nice level off that swordmaster with an instant crit.
For whatever reason, this archer doesn’t move. It also has a brave bow. It’s a good thing it just sits outside of a house.
Nice levels, and the brave sword myrm is survived. Also healing stabs.)
Reavers are fun.
Steve kills the brave bow guy, gains A lances, and cantos away. Tambo can’t reach anyone now.
Have a level.
Here’s another look at Tambo. Despite Eric’s efforts, everybody is doubled. He has a 64% chance to critical, and an 18% chance to activate Astra. Vantage also looms should he fall below half health. His stance also gives him +4 attack and speed, so attacking him up close is hopeless. However, he has one severe weakness: his lack of 1-2 range.
In other words, Kristie can melt him.
One crit later, and Tambo gets purged. He then runs away like a coward.
Nice level, at least.
Thanks, old lady!
This hero ran on the other side of this cliff. Longbows exist, however.
More levels.
Dammit! Talor got cut off by the tide! He bopped a skeleton and I thought he could get to shore next turn. Hope you can tread water until we kill Jacob. Note the cleric sitting on the island: I was too slow, so no cutting off Physic healing for me.
Another A rank.
This guy talks about stealing weapons from a couple on the beach. Who was that couple?
Join the dots.
PHYSIC HEALERS!!
Very scary effective weaponry. Greg could do with that speed as well.
House gives money, siege knife reaquired.
This was a crit. Greg is a wall though, so it’s all good.
Huh, Anna’s dialogue changed. No, I’ve a chapter to finish.
Boots get!
Kristie faces no threat from the big bad Jacob. Most of his stats didn’t go above 10, and I never got a screenshot. Not Naglfar’s dangerous enough, but still not really anything that gives me pause. Awful level though.
One more Eric level.
And Kristie is capped.
Legendary weapons are nice. Everybody complained about the map gimmick. I probably missed some desert items. Eric will meet his friends soon.
We can’t disappoint the fans with a bad ending scene! Drumroll…
Bad guy reveal and holy weapons? Score!
In all there are four holy weapons here. The Sord, which slays sword users, the Crop, which kills cavalry, the Nerf Toy, which mashes mages, and the Matchbook, which axes axe users. There’s the promotion incentive.
Bad guys! Solid Snek and frameless guy, the most heinous of villains!
Oh mysterious off screen bad guy, this is such a- NO YOU SPOILED IT BLUE HAIR GUY!
A bit late now, innit?
And that’s the desert map. Wasn’t actually too bad, though I almost certainly missed something or another.
You did fine :p.
Desert Items
You could’ve went fishing with Steve to get the Silence and the Bagel, the tile changes didn’t affect the range events.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Chapter 9 bois
omg it’s clam hour
so my bois are looking for the dragon’s gate
i mean are they really wrong though?
@Devisian_Nights to the floor, sridevi to the floor please
thank you joey
:OOO, how dare you, nagas are an incredible species of snake people and i won’t have you disrespecting them
thanks hustler
thanks for the warning, blue unit
that’s rude, matthew. nagas are an important part of our culture!
here’s my party so far, figure i’d show it off since it’s only four of us
here’s a nice view of the map, looks pretty manageable aye
REEEEEEEEEEE DARRMAN
big boobs?
i actually prefer jordan peele’s us, but whatever you like!
isn’t that a mood
oh geez
we’re having fun aren’t we?
got some hot levels, everyone’s leveling up like crazy
getting a support with you
goodbye bolting
hey bede, why you got underwear in your pocket?
wow dark magic sucks
silence boomer
another level
… you’re telling me. that i went through all that trouble. ALMOST GOT MY THIEF KILLED. TRYING TO SAVE THE VILLAGE. ONLY FOR IT TO BE CLOSED!!!
no no no that’s fine that’s fine everything’s fine you know what
i’m just gonna untick that eid real quick because heck you chair, make your code work >:C
ok ok give me my loot already
thank you!
another level for good measure
ooh sacred flame! i honestly prefer toll the dead but i’m always one for radiant damage!
maxed out!
hell yeah that’s sexy
oh hey let’s go again
beefy
staffbot matthew
ok boomer
mmmmm experience
oh no
nice s-weapons, shame i won’t get to use em for a while
and now for something completely different
oh no.
oh no.
To be continued...
please i already beat the chapter don’t make me do it again
yeah you probably should
wow thanks for the information, how convenient
and that’s it for me, have fun zane!
Ch10: A Real Shitty Time
Oh boy.
rip boat
f chair
internal screaming
Anyway, groups split up and we start with the crappy team. Get it?
I’m in a shit place about to have a shit time. Thanks Chair.
https://i.imgur.com/VddwTe3.png
Bonus points for naming these tiles Sewage
.
After messing around a bit I decided to change up some unit positions and promoted Jagger, Dominic and Josh, because they were having trouble hurting enemies.
It takes the AI a year to decide what to do. Jagger bops the fighters on the left. A rogue spawns on the stairs.
I’m just going to do my best to get through this, I’ll have more screenshots if interesting things happen. I’m just not having any luck here.
One down, two to go.
Also, I didn’t notice that all of the keys are on the other side. Nice.
Later…
2/3 chests down.
Bianca clears the path to the throne.
…
Last one.
Fuck off, dude.
After killing him, Chester tells us that the single carpeted tile down south looks suspicious, and all of the remaining water disappears.
That suspicious tile
The tile contained [The Comedy]
and also
nice
And with that, this chapter’s done.
welp, forgot to introduce these peeps. Sword lady is good, lance guy feels like he gets carried by the brave lance he starts with.
Hm…
I swear that throne wasn’t empty before. Did something happen…?
I’ll get to my part eventually I’ve got an SoAXNA release to prepare.
Reeee!
Kicking myself that I never pushed for a NICKT cameo.
Well I still have to do another release to fix the ch9 thing /underp some dialogue. I can throw you in somewhere.
I demand to appear in the desert as a hidden event
Chapter 11
Well I know the boss already.
Hence the name.
Well it had to happen at some point.
Not a bad map though, kill boss in 10 turns, ezpz.
I also made an executive decision.
Okay I made a few executive decisions.
Nah we’ll be fine.
Just some bros bonding.
Rude.
There were level ups and chests and I forgot to take screenshots of them but have no fear I definitely got everything and people definitely leveled up.
Also I lied I got one chest screenshot.
Don’t forget to donate to Circles guys.
That you are, banter happens, and then the chapter ends, next up:
Well, it’s not my problem anyway, better go fast, Dan.
Hey I don’t have to do more parts now it’s literally on everyone else to finish this.
This is so fun and also pretty cute. You guys are cool. Lol
I got bamboozled by this chapter. I was expecting THWD to mess with me, and in a way, the chapter messed with me, albeit not in the expected way.
Ruh-roh
Looks like Dan fell for the troll and ended up missing out on a bunch, including Exp, a Killer Lance, an Eye Patch (Skl booster), the Showstopper (A rank brave dagger), and Hulk Hands (Pow booster).
If the run fails, everyone blame Dan (not THWD Dan, but pandan Dan).
After two failed attempts, I bring you my chapter!
Chapter 13: Base Race, Part 2
We are presumably racing into a base, continued from the previous time we raced into a base.
Matt dashes off and kills an enemy in a cutscene. He opens the treasure chest, but it’s empty. (I warped to the chest in a failed attempt. It really is empty.)
The purple ice climber gets wise to the situation.
Meanwhile, our boss Noguchi is complaining. He forgot his eyedrops and can’t see.
Free stuff is good. Who cares if we fall into a trap along the way?
Battle preps! First, internet inventory. I forget what I bought. I know I didn’t buy the Restore. Bad move for me.
We’ve gathered a lot of statboosters. It’s time to spend some. In hindsight I should have given Eric more.
We advance. These effective weapons were perfectly calculated.
Stairs? Who needs them? Just stand on top of them and the bad guys get stuck.
Baiting the warrior in allows me to steal his robe.
Joey lives life dangerously and wields the Devil Axe. Kristie goes and burns the warrior, and gets a bad level for her trouble. Also, here’s Swordie the summon. It’s pretty nice.
This druid has a silence staff. Very annoying. Dan has basically no chance to silence him.
Of course. Silence doesn’t block summoning, oddly enough.
Dragon knights approach form the rear. They are swiftly disposed of. “Basically a bow tome” is true for Magic Missile here: effective against fliers and all.
This is a very interesting feature: all experience the summon gains is fed to its master. Dan levels from Swordie’s crit.
A thief is heading for the treasure. A breakthrough is required to stop him.
I consider this an improvement.
Mopping up the rear.
We are taking Eric to endgame. I managed to get one level on him in this chapter!
On around turn 5 or so, Noguchi found his eyedrops. Before this, he had random movement AI. Now he’ll chase us down.
Killing the thief gave us the Fili Shield, which was in the first chest. The second has this backpack, which due to science, stops crits.
The sword broke. Better summon another one.
.
One Axier crit wipes out this guy. Talor profits handsomely.
A Hail Mary is thrown at the silence guy. Bolting misses.
Here’s our boss. He has speedwings. He must die.
We run away and get him to switch off his brave lance. Noguchi has a scary crit rate, so Matt runs up from off screen and gives a bag to everyone.
With the aid of a Savage Blow hit, the boss falls to one hit point. But Eric cannot finish him, for he tinks.
The honour instead falls to Joey. Noguchi realises his other bottle of eyedrops are in his pocket when he dies, while breaking the text box slightly.
Defence?
Not much of an ending for part 2 of a two-parter.
And with that, all my chapters are now complete. Only two chapters remain. Can we finish this?