A hack idea pitch

This is a idea for a hack. For now it’s just the background story and I don’t know if it will ever evolve beyond this but still I think I’ve made a cool story so I want to present it to you all.
Note that nothing here is final and thus is a subject to changes. Also ignore any grammatical errors, the language is not yet important here.

So, let’s begin.

Long ago humans populated the entire world and grand cities stretched all across the globe. Countries rose and fell, people lived and died. However, one day everything changed.
The Veil came.
Noone knew what it was. The only thing that was knows is that it was dark, scary and had monsters in it.
In the face of a total apocalypse, people started losing their shit. The Veil was seemingly unstoppable and any efforts of combating it or even stalling its progress proved in vain.
Cites were abandoned in haste as people migrated to the places not the consumed by the veil en masse.
There was however one person that didn’t succumb to the total anarchy and desperately tried to find a way out. To this day only their name remains in human memory: the great Scholar Atis.
After years and years of study Atis discovered that by sacrificing some of own life force a person could perform seeming miraculous acts. They discovered… magic.
And thus Atis set out to the center of the biggest and most populated of the pockets yet not consumed by the Veil. Using all they managed to learn, they performed a great ritual.
It was successful. For a brief moment a blinding lights covered the land and soon after an invisible barrier formed around the place where the ritual was held that blocked further the Veil from creeping.
Mankind, or at least what remained of it was safe in this pocket of light in total darkness. However, Atis was not to see the effects of their work as they sacrificed everything for the spell’s success and crumbled into dust near the newly formed Source.
The light of the Source shone bright. Hoverer after time it begun to dim and the Veil once again started creeping in. Thus it become a burden of Atis’ descendants to sacrifice themselves to prolong the Source’s light each time it starts to dim and protect Mankind from certain doom.
They established a great house and fashioned themselves as kings of the land. They’ve prounded themselves from their eternal sacrifice making it a devine ritual and source of their right to rule.
And thus Mankind persists… Once again the light of the Source dims and bells ring, for the time is now for the king to offer himself for his people…
The story might be sorrowful and beautiful and yet it contains so many lies…
The Veil did not came at it’s own, no, it was us who made it. What it true purpose was is unknown but it might be deducted that it was intended as a weapon. Atis did not invent magic, no, they just used it. As both the Veil and the Source were born of the same matter they are enterally bound. Also the bloodline of Atis’ was bound to this terrible aberration and only their blood can light it anew. And thus the royal family does everything to keep it pure even if it means doing really despicable things.
Is this cycle to continue forever or should we just embrace our fate and pay for our sins? Or maybe there’s a different way to break the Veil and bring a new dawn for the world?

Feel free to criticize the story and present your own ideas how to improve it. I won’t bite :joy:.

I’m kind of curious what lives on the other side of the veil. Is it just a zombie zone? Do living people become zombies there, or does it just raise the dead? Has anyone survived? What if it has become a haven for wildlife, and magical spirits in the absence of industrial civilization? There could be other potentially positive aspects of this zone.

It makes sense that the veil was used to try to grant some empire a strategic advantage, but then they lost control of it. There’s a lot of potential plot there. Alternatively, it could have been created from a ambitious necromancer, or someone seeking to revive their lost love. But that’s a bit trite.

I find myself unsure of what sort of battles would be occurring in a story with this setting. Unless it’s the King and their subjects vs. some sort of heretics who want the veil to spread.

Hell no. The Veil starts as a normal fog, but the further you go into it the darker it gets. At the end it’s just pure blackness. The monsters are just the standard FE8 menagerie.

Maybe? I don’t know but I toy with an idea of a society that manages to survive out there.

Indeed, it’s a little too melodramatic.

Yeah, that’s my biggest issue too. The main idea is that the cycle is beyond wrong (honestly, it’s a little fucked up) so we need to find another way. Maybe the characters discover some diferent kind of magic that can purge the Veil. I don’t know.

It sounds like a very solid lore for a setting, now the only things I wonder is how to portray conflict in it. I have some ideas :

  • petty conflict amongst people inside the Barrier, be it because of how things are normally in the Kingdom or because or the worsening of the situation, with the new sacrifice coming.
  • Groups linked to the veil, like a cult, who wants to put an end to the cycle.
  • What’s coming from the veil, be it monsters raid or something else. Maybe there could also be some weird humans inside the veil in addition to monster.

Is this cycle to continue forever or should we just embrace our fate and pay for our sins? Or maybe there’s a different way to break the Veil and bring a new dawn for the world?

It’s a solid idea, I Imagine the Main Character or one of his early companion will be of the Atis Bloodline and is supposed to sacrifice itself for perpetuating the cycle.

After resolving the initial situation, you could get the choice between trying to get into the Veil, rallying the people of the Kingdom to fight the dark cult/Veil Invasion and accomplish the ritual.

It could also be a bit like Banner Saga 3, but don’t how feasible it is on a romhack, where you have two team: one trying to find a solution inside the Veil, and another one still in the Kingdom trying to save it from what is threatening Humanity (and accomplish the ritual if the other group fail)

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That is my biggest problem. I’ve written a backgroud but not the story. Bascially, I’ve Tolkien’ed and created a world first and now I’m fitting story in.

I thought about the main characters being the prince and princess and their first mission was to put down some kind of a rebellion. There’s also the idea of that the main character (the prince) is to be sacrificed but well, doesn’t want to get desintegraed and goes rogue.

Yeah, basically that.

Nah, I’m not really into the ‘route split’ thing, it deludes the game.
But all three of these things can happen at some point. I especially like the apocaliptic cult.
Maybe take some inspiration from Majora’s Mask?

Never played it.

I have this idea that the use of magic start to slowly corrupt people, especially the royals. Plus all the inbreeding to keep to bloodline clean.

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Arch Sage Athis, the most powerful magic user in all the land, also invited and recruited other magic users to The Light of the Source were they received great power in the form of light magic. Of the many groups he invited where (promoted class versions only):

The Churches of Men: Bishops, Saints, Holy Knights

The Empyrean Warriors: Valkyries, Arch Angels, Phaetons

The Mystics: Sages, Unicorn Wardens, Alicorn Knights

Asianstic Warriors: Dread Fighters, Onmiyojis, Holy Lancers.

Any class of peoples that could wield light magic were brought to the altar of The Source where they were baptized in light and received a total 8 spells from the 3 schools of light magic: Illumination, Invocation and Abjuration. Now with this new power these new Warriors would hold back the Veil and the wicked creatures and shadows that poured from hence therein on the 4 different battle fronts around humanities few remaining strongholds. As the light of the source dims so does the power of these warriors, leaving almost nothing to hold back the dark hordes.

What am I looking at?

the spell list

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I see that, is that Gaiden spells?
Nah, it isn’t. From where it from?

from many many different places combined, each spell should be unique I think.

First, it’s Atis and they did die when creating the Source.
Also I would like so that the only kind of magic humans use is dark magic. I just like that idea.

Well, going by the Magical Elements established so far this makes no sense continuity wise, if that’s true how did Atis use the Source?

Which ones? I did not establish any.

He did not. It just is and it’s mere presence stops the Veil from advancing.

it stops the veil from advancing but not appearing? I think you should go with my idea since it makes for better combat and more realistic story.

The Veil spreads. There’s most likely a source of it somewhere but the location of it in or if it the only one is unknown.

I think it will be better if I just show a map.

It’s very basic but I think it shows the idea. We’re in a bubble. Everything else is behid the Veil, lost and forgotten.

Ok so you don’t want light magic because???

I don’t say I don’t want it. But the source was made by sacrificing oneself’s life and is supported by it, it’s clearly dark magic.

^.^ can’t disagree with that you are 100% right.

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Never played it.

It’s a nice Trilogy of tactical-rpg, which has a big gameplay emphasis on managing your caravans during your travel. It began with a woodcutter, it’s daughter, and some villagers, fleeing from an invasion, but it quickly become bigger and bigger. It’s inspired by norse mythology, and on some aspects it reminds me of your pitch (especially in the 2nd and 3rd game)

I thought about the main characters being the prince and princess and their first mission was to put down some kind of a rebellion. There’s also the idea of that the main character (the prince) is to be sacrificed but well, doesn’t want to get desintegraed and goes rogue.

It’s a good beginning, it could mix well with your idea of magic corrupting people ! Like, the main character could be sent to deal with rebels. But while fighting against them he realize that he is murdering peasants who are fighting against the tyrannical local count/duke, who is abusing his power. These events make the main character began to question the current situation of the Kingdom.

When he come back to the capital in search of answer, he is quickly dismissed by those in power. And then an urgency force him to go far again: creatures from the veil have entered inside the barrier in one place, and the prince is sent there to “prove that he is still worthy”.

While he is on the frontier, he discover that some cult is helping Veil creatures to enter inside the kingdom…
But while he is far away, the Apocalyptic Cult storm the Capital and execute most of the royal family. The Kingdom is now in complete anarchy, while more and more creatures are crossing the barrier.

It’s up to the Main Character and his troops to try to save Mankind from this desperate situation. Due to this difficult situation, the Rogue Prince will have to face terrible dilemma. Is it more important to save the people or to crush the Cult? Is it worth it to alienate corrupt aristocrats in favour of angry peasants? etc.

In the end, the Rogue Prince will win against the Cult. The remnant of the Cult will flee in the Veil. Many will ask the Prince to accomplish his destiny, but he will refuses. Why continuing a cycle that is only delaying the Doom of Mankind and keeping in place a corrupt system? The Rogue Prince and his follower will do what no one ever did: Going behind the veil in search of answer and, they hope, a way to save the world and put an end to the Cycle.

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That would be like in 3/4 of the game maybe. Or leave it on a cliffhanger.

But yeah, great story.
I’m sure I’ll take some inspirations.

I was also thinking about using the Gaiden magic system for the hack to represent how you need to sacrifice a little of your own life energy to cast spells.

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